You know how sometimes you read in the paper about some person accused of murder who gets away scot free? For whatever reason, either the case isn't prosecuted, or heaven help us it is adjudicated and the jury cannot find them guilty. Don't you ever think to yourself "someone will do us all a favor and take 'em out"? In real life that rarely, if ever happens. The acqitted person goes on a book tour or gets a reality TV show and we are all disgusted by the twist of fate that let them loose to potentially kill again. Well, in the book Darkly Dreaming Dexter, there is someone who does equalize the situation.

Thankfully, Dexter is just a character in a fiction novel, because he's a bona fide psychopath. He has difficulty understanding people and social situations, he lacks deeper feelings like love and compassion, does not understand what motivates humans to do the things they do, and does not even consider himself human. He knows he is flawed, with a big empty spot where everyone else has a conscience. But Dexter hunts the bad guys. He is a serial killer, and a prolific one, taking out Miami's garbage. He only kills the killers, though, and he must have proof of the ultimate badness of his quarry, otherwise, his code will not allow him to act.

You see, Dexter was raised and coached by a cop. His adoptive father Harry realized that Dexter was missing "that thing" other people have, and helped him to shape his need to kill into righteous vigilanteeism. Harry created a code, rules that would help Dexter survive in a world he did not understand; rules that would keep him out of the eye of the police and out of jail. Part of Dexter's cover is to work for the police as a blood spatter analist.

The best predators hide in plain sight, and that is Dexter. He has learned, like many psychopaths before him, to play the role, say the witty sayings, and pretend to feel the feelings, that normal people expect. And while you might think Dexter is a bad guy himself, in this book, he is the "hero" protecting the city from those other murderers who cannot be proven guilty and preventing them from committing their heinous crimes again.

Darkly Dreaming Dexter is the first in a series about Dexter and was the inspiration for the popular Showtime television drama "Dexter." If you are a fan of the show, be prepared for the book to have its differences that might not make you happy. The key characters are there: Dexter, Deb, Angel Batista, LaGuerta, Doakes, Masuka; but they are the originals as imagined by Jeff Lindsay, not the screenwriters. Dexter himself is as weirdly lovable in the book as he is in the show, and that is part of the guilty pleasure. You feel like you really should not like him, but you just can't help it.

Darkly Dreaming Dexter is not terribly long, yet the pages turn at an enjoyable pace, drawing you through the story arc and toward a climactic ending that feels a tiny bit rushed. Did Lindsay come up against a deadline? I would have liked the ending to be developed a bit more, but otherwise this is a very good book. I will be seeking out the next installment soon.

I remember probably from the 80s a Weight Watchers commercial starring Lynn Redgrave. She wore this frumpy muumuu and talked about her dieting success, then at the end of the commercial she declared "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels!" as she whipped off the muumuu and showed off her newly trim body. As far as marketing campaigns went, this was a good one considering I still remember it twenty years later. Lots of women responded to the slogan and spat out mouthfulls of chocolate, cookies, cake and donuts in the quest for what skinny feels like.

As someone who has never as an adult been anything close to resembling "skinny" I have never been able to identify with this slogan. Certainly, I have been thin and maybe when I was 10 I could have been considered skinny. However, my body type and genetics provided me with curves long before my straight framed peers had them, leading me to believe I was never thin enough. Anyway, looking back on my life, I have come to realize that I quite often was in a state of "not fat" meaning I was attractive, healthy and happy. Maybe I could have lost 5 pounds or so to drop a dress size, but at some of my happiest moments in life, I was healthy and looked good.

So, I plan to take this well worn slogan and adapt it to mean something for me: nothing tastes as good as healthy feels.

I know what healthy feels like. I know that when my body feels healthy it does not fit onto the BMI charts that were put together in the late 60s. I will never be considered skinny, and if you find me in a state of being skinny get me to a doctor quick because it's not a healthy weight for me. I can be trim, healthy, comfortable, fit. Never skinny. I have also come to realize that trying to live up to someone else's expectation of what skinny looks like will never work for me! Skinny to me means narrow frame, flat chest, no butt, no curves. Unless I plan to lop off a couple pieces, that will never happen to my body.

So, friends go forth and remember that nothing tastes as good as healthy feels. Be healthy, eat right, exercise. Do not deprive yourself for something unattainable.

Unless you are one of those skinny bitches who populate the pages of fashion magazines. Then can you just eat a couple cheeseburgers after midnight please? You are giving the rest of us a complex.

My daughter is going to be 5.

HOLY SHIT WHERE DID THE LAST FIVE YEARS GO????????? [Runs around the room screaming and pulling out hair] AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Ok, I feel better. So Melody will be five on her next birthday and we are starting the thinking and planning process for her party. She really wants some sort of princess theme and I'm thinking Rapunzel. She loved the movie Tangled and there are a lot of really fun crafts the kids can do at the party, making crowns is one of them. We also will be having my friend Samantha over to put feathers in the little girls' hair and do colored gel for the boys. Bring on the blue and red Mohawks!

In case you are not aware, you can't just wander over to Parties R Us and pick up Rapunzel invitations. The movie was incredibly popular but for some reason either Disney hasn't licensed the images for the ubiquitous birthday decorations, confetti and napkins (completely out of their character) or my local party store is lame.

What's your guess?

So, in the next few weeks I will be searching online for Rapunzel birthday invitations. Oh, and creating some sort of Rapunzel pin the tail on the whatever game. Pin the hair on Rapunzel? Pin the chameleon on the tower? Pin the crown on the princess? This may be a stretch of my creative abilities.

Here we go folks!

I don't have a very good memory for certain things. I freely admit it! In the past I have made resolutions for the new year, only to forget within the first two weeks that I had promised myself to drink less or exercise more. Let's face it, if something isn't enormously important to me, I put it out of my mind and move on, which is why I rarely make New Year's Resolutions. Resolutions, with a capital R, sound so final, so set in stone, and if you break (or even bend) a Resolution the flying monkeys will swoop down and castigate you and fling their poo and all sorts of awful things will happen! Not for me, nope, thanks for playing, take your Jiffy Pop and leave.

However a few years ago, a woman who's blog I read did a monthly resolution (note the lower case r, by the way, no flying monkeys here). Each month she would do something new to work on improving herself, her life, her marriage or her home. Being that I have a pretty good chance at remembering a resolution for thirty days, I have decided to give this a whirl. I just hope that in two months I will remember that need to change to the next resolution. I hope to blog at the beginning and end of each month about the designated action, once with a plan and once with the result. Wish me luck!

January: try a new food each week

February: no fast food

March: walking more, 20-60 minutes per day, 3-5 times per week

April: read to Melody at least 3 times per week

May: no TV 4 nights a week

June: make dinner 6 nights per week

July: migrate this website to Wordpress

August: no more than 1 soda per day

September: blog every day on all three sites (omg!)

October: no candy or cookies

November: write a short story

December: get to work on time

I figure a lot of these are stretch goals and there will of course be circumstances beyond my control that prevent me from being 100% perfect. Heck, 90% is still an A in college, so I will even allow myself to slip up from time to time. Besides, I am in no way close to perfect, I'm just a perfectionist. Frustrated much? Yes. I just want to try to improve my well being and happiness, and these seem like areas where I could use improvement, and also, areas where I feel like I can let go of old habits.

So, January's resolution is to try a new food each week. I chose this for January because in a bit of a cheat, I have already tried a new food this month. At my big family dinner last week, my cousin Diana brought roasted brussel sprouts. In the past, these miniature cabbages were either bitter, slimy or mushy, all of which are unappealing in food, so I thought I didn't like them. But, I took my "no thank you" helping and actually enjoyed them. Diana told me the secret is in roasting them with a bit of olive oil to bring out the deeper flavors. She claimed there is a sweet flavor but I don't buy that. Let us say that they were not bitter, slimy or mushy, and actually were quite good! I must figure out what my next three to four foods for January will be. I'm pretty much an omnivore when it comes to food with the exception of veggies, so the foods may all be produce. I also plan to consider "rerun" foods, e.g. foods I didn't like as a kid, as new foods since I'm the type that if I didn't like it when I was six, there's a good chance I never touched it again. 

Wish me luck!

It was suggested to me that I might like to do an annual recap of 2011 for ths blog. I have done this in the past and it always felt like a canned post. A recap doesn't always tell you something new because of course it rehashes what has already happened (and was hopefully blogged about). But, I saw this post from Kristin at Rage Against the Mini Van and I liked the idea of questions leading me through the recap. They are someone else's questions, but my answers will be uniquely tailored to me and my life. Plus, I didn't blog as much as I would like in 2011 so there is a lot of new info (to you) going into the recap of 2011.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Taken a ride in the back of an ambulence to an ER. No lights and sirens, but still, it is not something I want to do again. Looking out that back window kinda gave me vertigo.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

In 2011 I resolved to not make any resolutions, so in a way I kept my resolution. I am terrible with making resolutions because I rarely remember them six weeks later, let alone six months to a year later! However, I have a different idea for 2012 which might work: the monthly resolution. In the next few days I will post my 12 resolutions, one for each month of the year. I can probably stick with something for thirty days.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not a direct family member but several friends had babies in the past year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No, thank goodness!

5. What countries did you visit?

Is Pittsburg a country? It sure felt foreign to me!

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

A daughter who goes to bed without screaming, crying, making bargains and trying to blackmail us by withholding hugs and kisses.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April 28th: I fell at work and tore three ligaments in my foot. This was the cause of the ambulence ride. And the surgery. And the long recovery.

October 28th: I was rear-ended on the freeway and my car was totaled. This was a surreal experience. One moment I was listening to my ipod and sitting in traffic; the next heartbeat I was looking up at the ceiling of my car and trying to figure out what the hell had happened!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Melody performed on stage in her first ever dance recital. That's not really my accomplishment, but I was so proud of her! She was not afraid to be on stage with everyone looking at her. Personally it took me years to stand up in front of a group without feeling light headed and tongue tied. So, somehow we have taught her confidence, and that perhaps is partly my accomplishment.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I lost my patience and yelled pretty often. The terrible 2s were fine and we didn't get more than one tantrum then. The Effing Fours have kicked my ass around the block and back again. Melody had a complete meltdown/tantrum over putting her shoes away that lasted more than 10 minutes and included her pounding her fists on the floor and bawling, shreaking, and kicking. There has been a lot of whining and complaining about going to bed, brushing teeth, putting dirty clothes in the hamper and taking showers. Basically, everything that is good for her she did not want to do. Conversely, everything bad for her she wanted to do in spades. Sigh. I felt like Mommy No No for a good portion of the year.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Yes, yes I did. The foot was a real problem. I wound up having surgery on July 1st, and then spending the summer on disability in various stages of hard cast, walking cast and brace. Although I am discharged from physical therapy (the worker's comp won't provide any more) I still have pain and discomfort quite often and my left foot is much weaker than my right. I will likely be in some stage of recovery for several more months.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A Ford Escape Limited

12. Where did most of your money go?

See #11. Or Target.

13. What did you get really excited about?

There were several highlights in 2011 even with the surgery and car wreck. In April, my reenacting group was named "Best Civilian Camp" at the Prado Civil War event. This is huge for us and I am very proud of our efforts to portray history as accurately as possible. In June/July our home construction/repair/remodel work was finally finished. After the water leak in September 2010, it took ages to first get the project started; then once started it took forever to finish! But, now that it's done I am very happy about it. In August, I went to Pittsburg to meet/see 15 of my closest friends who I had never before met in person. That was fabulous and then dovetailed into a too-short visit with my bestie in Tennesee. The end of the year brought a visit from my cousin and her family, plus a great family dinner with her parents and mine. We had our first kids table!

14. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Tonight, Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

– happier or sadder? I feel happier somehow. Sort of like, "I got through all that so I can take on whatever comes my way in 2012." Plus Melody will turn 5 next month and I am looking forward to that.
– thinner or fatter? The same.
– richer or poorer? Richer I think but John is in charge of that.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Sleep. Read. Bake. Make friends. I have difficulty making friends, and I'm honestly not all that good at keeping the few friends I do have. So, add maintain friendships.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Saying no and shouting. I gave a spanking one night that made me cry more than Melody. I felt like an absolute jerk. Parents are not supposed to hurt their children right? But we have to provide discipline and punish them when they misbehave, otherwise we wind up with entitled little a-hole children who have no personal accountability for their actions. If I could go back and change things, I would not have given that spanking, lost my patience and my temper, or allowed things to get out of control in the first place.

18. How did you spend Christmas?

Wonderful morning with my little family, then my folks and sister came over for Christmas dinner. I do so love entertaining!

19. What was your favorite TV program?

I record nearly everything these days, but while I was on leave, I mowed through Netflix. I watched seven seasons of Emergency! I don't really know why. Dexter of course; True Blood OF COURSE; Criminal Minds. I try to make time for First 48 occasionally too.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

You can read my book reviews here on the site but I haven't written one about every book I read. I'd have to say my favorite book of the year, the one which sticks with me the most, was Saving CeCe Honeycutt. It was a lovely and fullfilling book with a happy ending.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

I discovered Mumford & Sons and my guilty pleasure/secret love for Korean pop groups. I continued to enjoy old favorites like P!nk and Lady Gaga, Weezer and Robbie Fulks.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

I don't think we made it to the theater more than two or three times. Once was for Cars 2 with Melody which was cute but not as good as the original. The other was for Twilight: Breaking Dawn, about which I will say no more. Oh, we might also have seen Tangled in the theater, which was super cute. Our most recent favorite (mine and Melody's) is the 2003 Peter Pan. It is very close to the original book Peter & Wendy by J. M. Barrie, at times verbatim. So far we have watched it six or seven times.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Oh, my birthday, yes thank yo for reminding me. I turned 43 on December 9th. We stayed home and had Italian, then a week later went out for brunch with the rest of my family.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Wow, this is difficult. I think a longer visit with Tara might have made my shitty summer more worth it. Two and a half days per year just isn't enough and we both cried after we said goodbye.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

American Middle Class Working Mom, e.g. slacks, blouses and sensible shoes.

26. What kept you sane?

I don't think I started out sane, so perhaps this isn't the best question for me. What kept me from losing the rest of my mind? John, Melody, getting the remodel in my house completed after 10 months of destruction, good insurance, my mom's group, Tara.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

Be careful wearing new heels to walk on linoleum. There will surely be one wet spot on the floor for you to slip in.